How to control strong emotions: 4 steps to calm

It happens that emotions are literally overwhelmed by us, we lose control over them (and hence, above ourselves) and at full speed we rush to emotional reefs. We share the techniques that will help to stand up at the helm.

Anger, horror, anxiety, mental pain, bitterness of loss, longing in lost, sadness – these and many other feelings can manifest themselves with extraordinary strength, paralyzing you. Maybe you wake up with one of these feelings, or it does not allow you to fall asleep, it prevents you from making an important decision, or you have to constantly fuss to escape from it. In all cases, strong experiences subjugate their life.

Feelings can be not only friends, but also the worst enemies

Many grew up in families where it was customary to belittle or ignore the significance of emotions, neglect the emotional needs of the child. If feelings were not discussed openly, we did not have the opportunity to learn how to cope with them and react correctly to them.

Because of this, in adulthood, many are subject to emotional problems: either all feelings are dull, or, on the contrary, an emotional storm periodically flashes, which is difficult to cope with.

Why do we need emotions?

They are given to us for a reason, with their help the body sends us certain signals. If we use them correctly, they give us important information, direct, motivate and give energy.

Performing these important functions, emotions have a huge impact on us

But this force can become our enemy. For example, sometimes we guide anger, which must help defend ourselves, inside, and he begins to harm us. The bitterness of losses, which should help us leave the past in the past and move on, may turn out to be driven deeper and begin to corrode us from the inside. Anxiety that should help prepare for difficulties, makes us avoid them.

If it seems that feelings deprive you of your strength, interfere with the goals, then you are treating them wrongly or react to them inappropriately. Here are a few strategies that will come in handy both to those who once encountered serious emotional problems, and those whose who arise constantly.

Strategies to cope with strong emotions


. Describe the experiences on paper

Few, except psychotherapists, know that the only way to deal with emotions is to afford to feel them. First, describe the experiences on paper. If you are tormented by strong feelings, it’s time to take a pen and paper (you can also print on a computer, but the therapeutic effect is not the same) and start writing everything that comes to mind. Allow yourself to splash out or cry emotions on paper as much as you need. After that, remove the records and try to get distracted.

2. Share pain

When you tell others about the experiences, something incredible happens. Emotional connection with loved ones heals. To say: “I am very sad today” and tell about my feelings, you will have to “get” deep experiences, and this helps.

3. Practice meditation

Strong feelings seem to take control of the brain, and we cease to control ourselves. At such moments, thoughts either run in a stream, or become negative and random. Meditation is a way to regain control of the brain. If at particularly difficult moments you will stop running away from your feelings, and calmly sit down and focus on what is happening inside you, you can find peace again.

4. Work out feelings

This is the main skill for managing emotions. It includes all the above. To do this, you just need to be with feelings, understand what exactly you are experiencing and why and what emotions want to tell you. Describing your feelings, telling about them and meditating, you do what your emotional sphere needs. You are no longer just listening to your experiences, but take control of them, and this is the best way to deprive them of power over your life.

Strong experiences are not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, they show your ability to feel. It is only important to focus on the flow of emotions inside and direct it to your benefit.